Trauma and Shock

For me the emotions hit home as soon as the “Looking For” message boards appeared on the NOLA.com site. I guess I have not forgotten the emotions of 9-11-2001 through 10-01-2001. Living with your heart in your throat every moment – seeking any news desperately and fearing it at the same time.

Such a imploding chain of little underestimations to result in such catastrophe. Like my husband, it seems the “worst case” scenario of Katrina passing by NOLA was that since they did not get a direct hit of the ‘cane itself, like Gulfport, the folks who stayed put would ride out the storm the best they could and that would be that. I cannot figure how anyone could not interpret what all that rising water meant from the breached levees. I guess Bush is as bad at geography as he is with economics and cross cultural understanding. I believe there is more than a kernel of truth in Rev. Jacksons observations of the race factor – lots of desperate poor black people in trouble – well so what – that is nothing new.

I could not sleep last night at all until I myself knew that the Guard reinforcements had landed in the city. I can’t say I feel good now. However, I have sought out and found a little niche to try to patch ordinary folks up with stuff to send with ordinary folks who can take delivery and give to shelters in LA, AL, an MS. I am heartened by the knowledge that just like after 9/11, the ordinary folks are stepping up and making it happen. In the last 48 hours it seems only us have been capable of action. The vacuum of leadership at the “high ups” has had tragic repercussions.

I cry suddenly a lot, especially about the small children perishing at the convention center and the old folks. I see my poor Dad with his feet and legs all cut up after his surgeries, and see us trapped in a hospital. It will be difficult to recover – as in fact a lot of it did not have to happen. That will make the grief recovery difficult – there is no Mohammad Atta or Osama Bin Laden to pin one’s anger on. So where does one put their rage?