it seems a year since the last post here. I have been very angry – and don’t want to write about it. it only has been a week or so. and a very stressful one at that.
My Performance Work So Far:
- Perform my solea at 4W5 ? NOT. Program fizzles. No venue.
- Play Columbine at Mardi Gras? NOT. Exigent Emergency. Comedy/Tragedy of Anxiety.
- Perform/Read My Characters at Creative Society? NOT. Exigent Emergency #2. Quiet evening at home with Dad post-op.
My Other Work So Far:
- The Mardi Gras Mask – a Complete Frustration. NOT satisfied, yet client over the moon with pleasure.
- Columbine’s Costume – a 3-hour rush job that wins compliments all around. NOT satisfied.
- Live in the Dead Zone? NOT happening either. No lead time left. Funny how the days evaporate when you play chaffeur, nurse and housekeeper not just to one household but to two.
Do YOU see a theme happening here?
What convinces me is the fact that this outpatient surgery could have happened anytime in a 2 week time frame YET the day the surgeons et al just HAPPEN to come together is the VERY same day I am decided to make a stand at the Creative Expression evening (April 20).
I am crushed. However, I don’t feel at the mercy of the power of someone else. I made this choice – I know it is the right one, but I hate having to make such hard choices. It always has been understandable why artists and their families can have such problematic relationships. Sometimes the work has to be chosen over the family – and it may not seem “significant” enough to those put second.
What I have followed to conclusion in this field project year it is NOT in my work. I have so many venues I could have and wanted to work with post Mardi Gras. I had PLANS. I was preparing for those plans. Pfft ffft kaput.
The only thing has been the inner voyage from the work being outside of myself to it becoming mine. It will be done someway in near future. These things are things I need to do – as they are my work. Not a project. My work.
I returned for our drum circle and …. egad we are not there.
Homeless again it seems – something about the space being needed for paying patrons now that the weather is warmer.
Need to talk to Duane and see what is UP.